Assumedly Simple

“graduating on time is as cool as getting herpes from a toilet seat” one of friends recently said to me.

This friend as you can imagine is a extremely funny guy, who to many people’s demise is leaving from UMBC after this semester and transferring to Florida State University. Seeing him go, will not be the hard part, but noticing when i wish he was there will be. So as to not get sappy and sound like the type of girl this friend enjoys the company of(highschoolers), I will proceed on. I was talking to this friend today, and mentioned that I bought a new messenger bag in the mail, he was not impressed.

You see, a few weeks ago this friend peed on his nice leather messenger bag. While this was not a completely unusual thing for him to do it was fairly disappointing, because now he carries his books to class in a mesh bag instead of a nice leather one. I find it odd when people pee on things other than a toilet or a tree. In my mind it doesn’t make sense, but in many of my friends minds…beds, computers , chairs, and even elevators make sense.

The relenting party atmosphere that some people have is, honestly, amazing to me. I have never been able to go out for a week straight, or do anything crazy like that. The claim that greater partying= lesser grades isn’t true, especially with this guy. His grades never seemed to falter, even while he partied 5-6 nights a week, and woke up groggy as hell the next day. Intelligence isn’t based on amount of anything consumed.

As my friend Uzi states very often, this man is “livin the dream”, it has always been his dream to go to FSU and now in his senior year he is finally doing it. I find that oddly inspiring, just to follow what he wants to do even with some of the people he cares about most staying at UMBC and kind of pissed off at him.

one of his best friends and roommate “Edward” often says things like “fuck you your leaving me”, while i agree that we should say these things(maybe with a bit more cursing), I feel that we should also include “don’t pee on too many alligators down there”